One Sentence Summary of The Last Airbender

Everyone knows that the human world and the spirit world are having some major issues with each other because no one from the Eskimo people likes anyone from the angry-Indian people and vice versa, but the angry-Indian people are especially angry because they also killed off all the Chinese-monk people though not before they froze one of their best heroes in an orb of ice who happens to be the spiritual/metaphysical/elemental hub of all the universe even though he doesn’t know much more than how to use the bathroom by himself, so when a patriotic and distraught female Eskimo and her protective dumbass brother find him he immediately gets kidnapped and then frees himself and then escapes with the help of the distraught female Eskimo and the protective dumbass Eskimo who are riding a furry, flying, six-legged beaver that sounds like Chewbacca which makes the rejected angry-Indian price even angrier and he vows to find the Chinese-monk hero, so after the Chinese-monk hero frees a bunch of villages he gets totally captured again but then freed again by the angry-Indian prince for no apparent reason and then he gets injured, so then of course the Chinese-monk hero goes on a drug trip to a dragon who tells him some vague things which make him decide to go along with the distraught female Eskimo and the protective dumbass Eskimo to a big Eskimo village where they meet a creepy Eskimo princess with bad hair who the protective dumbass Eskimo totally wants to ice-hump because of her blue contact lenses, and then the Chinese-monk hero goes on another drug trip because of some glowing fish and in the meantime gets totally captured again by the same angry-Indian prince but then escapes again after he wakes up and totally owns the angry-Indian prince, but the angry-Indian people decide to attack the big Eskimo village and melt a lot of holes in it and then the drug-trip fish gets killed and the moon turns red and the creepy Eskimo princess with bad hair sacrifices herself for the drug-trip fish and the protective dumbass Eskimo doesn’t get any, and then the Chinese-monk hero scares off the entire angry-Indian army with one cinematic special effect and then finally decides to own it and everyone lives happily ever after until the never-getting-paid-for sequel comes out and everyone has to run from the smirking angry-Indian princess.

The eff did I just watch?
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