One Sentence Summary of The Green Lantern

So there’s this green stuff and this yellow stuff and the green stuff possesses a dude and the yellow stuff possesses a dude and the dude with the green stuff who happens to by Ryan Reynolds gets cool green powers and this hot chick and the dude with the yellow stuff just gets fat which is how we know the yellow stuff is bad, so the guy with the yellow stuff kills a senator because he’s pissed and fat and then we all find out that the yellow stuff is actually the evil yellow part of the universe which is controlling the fat yellow guy so it kills him off and tries to do evil yellow things but Ryan Reynold’s hot chick squeeze who isn’t a color and doesn’t even have any powers hacks the planet and scares away the bad yellow part of the universe, but then it’s back and then Ryan Reynolds discovers that he’s cool because he was chosen by the green stuff which is totally different from the situation with the yellow stuff, and so with this vital new knowledge he beats the yellow stuff, which ultimately teaches us all that green is better than yellow.

“Green makes you cool. Yellow does not.” -Ryan, probably
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